*throws rocks at God’s window* hey! Why did u make me
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Frankenstein by Mary Shelly
Am I the only one seeing similarities between Hiccup and Newt Scarmander??
No, I saw it too
Nope, definitely not.
I didnt think of this until now but yeah i see it
donate to my kickstarter so i can build a time machine and
- get julius caesar addicted to hentai
- seduce cleopatra
“oh but how will you seduce cleopatra?” you might ask because you’re a moron. it’s simple: i’m 6′2″ and i’m fat. fatness was considered attractive back then because if you were fat, that meant you were wealthy enough to get fat. plus, 6′2″ is unreasonably gigantically tall in the BC times.
so cleopatra will be like “a giant? AND he’s got stretch marks?” and she’ll instantly become infatuated with my rotund, hairy body
then i will live in royalty for the rest of my days. kickstarter backers will have their names written in my tomb, baffling archaeologists for centuries to come.
My favorite part of this is that OP didn’t feel the need to explain how he’d get Julius Caesar addicted to hentai.
[Your url but you change it with the following criterion:
Every “i” is replaced by “iii”
Every “e” is replaced by “c”
Every “o” & “a” is replaced by “x”
Add “isms” to the end of it
Lxgiiic-glucism
5sxs1driiixtxnism
Do you ever wonder what long term psychological damage is caused by crushing our small children with overwhelming pressure and time constraints every single day of their developmental life from age 5-18 and then suddenly setting them free into the world with no guidance or assistance other than “get a job”
honey i don’t have to wonder
Im living it
what do you call a pansexual man named nick who works at a cd store?
pan nick at the disc co.
Get the fuck out
fine, you want me to close the goddamn door too?
oh my god I finally found the post
We think milk from another species is just fine to consume, but many of us think that milk from our own species, which is intended for us to drink, is kinda gross
*writes I LIKE GIRLS on every other page of my journals so future historians don’t try to insist that I’m straight”
Future straight Historians: “we see several examples of her prioritizing a sisterly bond with the women around her, for example on page 12 she says ‘I like girls’ and throughout the text she references loving women and preferring their company. This is not to say she prioritized above her romantic relationships because on page 78 she mentions talking to a man one time in her life. It’s hard to know just how much she valued her sisterly bond with women due to this one reference of men and the ambiguity of early 21st century slang. For example on page 12 when she said she liked women, the passage continues ’…in a lesbian way. I want to kiss girls, they are so pretty, I’m so gay.’ Now it’s difficult to understand just what that sentence means. We know that in the early 21st century kissing on the cheek in greeting had gone out of vogue but the word gay, a word with an archaic meaning of happiness gives the contextual clues that perhaps she is references that old fashioned practice.
Going back to the nameless man that is mentioned once on page 78 for one sentance…”
“Now, given that she wrote on page 12, ‘Just to be clear: I’m sexually and romantically attracted to women exclusively,’ one may be tempted to read this literally, but we can’t rule out sarcasm.”
The greatest video since “The History of Japan”
#this goes through so many stages of sounding like#the speaker has#anything from#an italian accent to a spanish accent to a german accent to a swedish accent to an icelandic accent xD#to my ears at least#aka how english would sound if it made sense like the rest of us#english can’t even blame it on ‘having a lot of vowel sounds’ cause swedish has a similar amount (or arguably more)#the difference is that swedish has a proper system and Rules#for when the letter becomes a different sound#in swedish how it’s written is what you get it’s straight forward#english is just put together with duct tape and a prayer (via @erasedcitizen2)
“English is just put it together with duct tape and pray”

